In order to grow as a human being, you must master the art of forming connections. To connect means to give something your attention, to think about it, and to engage with it. In addition to connecting with people, you can connect with groups, objects, places, ideas, values, and activities. Establishing a link requires nothing but your attention. Think about your mother. Think about democracy. Think about your favorite song. Put your attention on something and you immediately connect with it.
Do you remember how you first learned about the physical universe when you were a young child? You looked around and noticed objects that grabbed your attention. Then you moved toward them, picked them up, and played with them. You learned about your environment through direct, hands-on experience. If you found something you didn’t like, you tried to avoid it in the future. If you found something you liked, you gave it even more attention. Sometimes your focus put you in a state of love.
As adults we often forget that the best way to fulfill our desires is to walk right up to whatever interests us and engage with it directly. Instead, we create all kinds of silly rules that limit our ability to connect with what we want. We can’t start our own business because it’s too risky. We can’t talk to that person because we’re already in a relationship. We can’t explore other belief systems because our current religion prohibits it.
Such rules are rooted in fear and disconnection, and they have no place in a life of conscious growth. When you make the commitment to live consciously, you’ll often find yourself running afoul of them. If you wish to become more loving, you must be willing to connect.
Many of my (Steve Pavlina) best growth experiences came about when I decided to connect with something that was important to me even when others disagreed with my choice—going vegetarian is a good example. One day I decided to try eating vegetarian for a month just because it seemed interesting to me. I liked it so much that I never went back, and four years later, I progressed to a fully vegan diet. This decision to connect with something I found attractive opened up a new wave of connections with other people who shared similar values, and it allowed me to leave behind a way of eating that didn’t resonate with my true self. Some people resisted my decision, but it was the right choice for me.
In order to learn and grow, you must have the freedom to connect with what you want and to disconnect from what you don’t want. No one can give you that freedom. It’s your birthright as a human being. You don’t need anyone’s permission to decide which connections are best for you. It’s up to you to take the initiative to connect with what you want and to disconnect from what you don’t want. By consciously making connections that feel intuitively correct to you, you bring yourself into alignment with the principle of love.
* Source: Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina