People can’t listen until they have been heard. They first need to get whatever is bothering them off their chest. Whether you are someone who has just come home from work, a parent looking at your child’s report card with all C’s, a salesperson attempting to sell a new car, or a CEO overseeing the merger of two companies, you first need to let the other people speak about their needs and wants, hopes and dreams, fears and concerns, hurts and pains, before you talk about yours. It opens up a space inside of them to be able to listen to and take in what you have to say.
What is a Heart Talk?
A Heart Talk is a very structured communication process in which eight agreements are strictly adhered to in order to create the safety for a deep level of communication to occur without the fear of condemnation, unsolicited advice, interruption, or being rushed. It is a powerful tool used to surface and release any unexpressed emotions that could otherwise get in the way of people being totally present to deal with the business at hand. It can be used at home, in business, in the classroom, with sports teams, and in religious settings to develop rapport, understanding, and intimacy.
Guidelines for a Heart Talk
Start by asking people to sit in a circle or around a table. Introduce the basic agreements, which include these:
- Only the person holding the heart talks.
- You don’t judge or criticize what anyone else has said.
- You pass the object to the left after your turn.
- You talk about how you feel.
- You keep the information confidential.
- You don’t leave the talk until it’s declared complete.
If you have plenty of time, a Heart Talk completes naturally when the heart makes a complete circle without anyone having something to say.
Results you can expect from a Heart Talk
You can expect the following results from a Heart Talk:
- Enhanced listening skills
- Constructive expression of feelings
- Improved conflict resolution skills
- Improved abilities to let go of resentments and old issues
- Development of mutual respect and understanding
- Greater sense of connection, unity, and bonding
* Source: The Success Principles by Jack Canfield
What are the 8 agreements ? I see only 6 listed.
Thanks
Hi Jeffery,
Thanks for reading. As for the eight agreements of Heart Talk, Jack mentions it in the index on the page-332, which says, “48. For more complete information, I recommend that you visit http://www.livelovelaugh.com and obtain a copy of the Heart Talk Book for only $5.95. A bright-red card-stock heart is inserted in each book, with the eight key agreements printed on the back side for an easy reminder before having a Heart Talk. If you are an educator, there is also a complete classroom curriculum guide on this subject entitled More Teachable Moments.”
You can also read Jack’s latest blog post about Heart Talk: http://jackcanfield.com/a-simple-heart-based-tool-that-hugely-improves-productivity-in-the-workplace/
Hope this can help.
:)