In our own lives, how many problems seem to come from applying judgments to things we don’t control, as though there were a way they were supposed to be? How often do we see what we think is there or should be there, instead of what actually is there?
Having steadied ourselves and held back our emotions, we can see things as they really are. We can do that using our observing eye.
Objectivity means removing “you”–the subjective part–from the equation. Just think, what happens when we give others advice? Their problems are crystal clear to us, the solutions obvious. Sometimes that’s present when we deal with our own obstacles is always missing when we hear other people’s problems: the baggage. With other people we can be objective.
We take the situation at face value and immediately set about helping our friend to solve it. Selfishly–and stupidly–we save the pity and the sense of persecution and the complaints for our own lives.
Take your situation and pretend it is not happening to you. Pretend it is not important, that it doesn’t matter. How much easier would it be for you to know what to do? How much more quickly and dispassionately could you size up the scenario and its options? You could write it off, greet it calmly.
* Source: The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday