There wouldn’t be positive without negative. It’s part of the life scenario. Ancient scripture says it best: “There’s a time to laugh and a time to cry.” You’ve got to become so sophisticated and well-educated that you don’t laugh when it’s time to cry. You’ve also got to learn to cry well. How are you going to identify with others if you don’t cry with them? The negative side is very important, so don’t ignore it. You need to let it be a part of the scenario.
In fact, you need to learn to master it. Negativity is not to be ignored, it’s to be mastered. It makes us better than we are to wrestle with it. It makes us better than we are to acknowledge and fight tyranny that moves into vulnerable countries, ignorance that moves into your life, procrastination that robs you of your fortune, or poor health that’s the legacy of neglecting your health disciplines. You’ve got to do battle with the enemies–those outside of you as well as those within. So learn how to handle the negative.
Negativity can actually be a powerful force for change. It plays a key role in the day that turns your life around. There are four stages to the day that turns your life around, and the first is disgust. Disgust is a negative emotion but it can have a very positive, motivating effect. Disgust says, “I’ve had it!” What an important day that could be.
I (Jim Rohn) met a beautiful, accomplished, extraordinary woman in New York. She was the vice president of a company I did some work for. I got to know her, and I found out her story. She never went to high school or college. I said, “How did you get here?”
She said, “Well, when I was a young mother, I once asked my husband for ten dollars. And he said, ‘What for?’ Before that day was over, I decided I would never ask again. So I started looking for opportunities, taking classes, and putting myself through school. Now I’m a vice president, and I make a lot of money. I kept my promise, because I’ve never ever had to ask again.” That was her life-changing day, the day she said, “Enough is enough.”
The next stage in a life-changing day is decision. If you sat down today and made a list of changes you’ve decided to make, that list could furnish enough inspiration for the next five or ten years. What an inspiring day, the day you bring yourself to decide to change your life.
The third stage is desire, wanting the change badly enough. Sometimes desire waits for a trigger, waits for something to happen. It may be a movie, a seminar, a sermon, a book, a confrontation with an enemy, or a conversation with a friend who finally levels with you. Whatever the experience, it is so valuable.
Here’s my best advice: welcome all experiences. You’ll never know which one is going to turn your life around. Don’t put up walls. The walls that keep out disappointment also keep out happiness. Take down the walls. Go for the experience. Let it teach you.
The last stage of a life-changing day is resolve. Resolve says, “I will.” These are two of the most powerful words in the language.
The best definition of resolve I’ve ever heard came from a junior-high-school student in Foster City, California. I was addressing her class one day, and we were discussing some key words. I asked the kids, “Who can tell me what resolve means?” Some didn’t know the answer, and some tried to guess. The last answer I got was the best. This girl about two rows back says, “I think I know, Mr. Rohn. I think resolve means promising yourself you’ll never give up.” I said, “That’s the best definition I’ve ever heard.” She’s probably giving her own seminars somewhere today.
Promise yourself you’ll read the books until your skills change; you’ll go to seminars until you get a handle on what they’re teaching; you’ll practice until you develop the skills. Never give up until you’ve gotten what you want. Don’t miss the change to grow. Resolve that you’ll pay the price until you learn, change, grow, and become what you want to be. You’ll discover some of life’s best treasures when you pay that price.
* Source: Leading an Inspired Life by Jim Rohn