Confidence is such an important component of success. It’s really a form of optimism, a certainly that things are going to turn out the way you want and that you have the power to make it happen.
The root of the word confidence is confide. Confide is a compound word derived from the Latin language, meaning “with” (con) and “trust” or “faith” (fide). When someone is sincere in a business deal, when an offer is made and real money stands behind it, when someone makes a promise and means to keep it, we call it a “bona fide offer,” a good faith offer. Music played on a top-of-the-line audio system is said to be “high fidelity,” meaning faithful to the sounds made by the live performer and instruments at the time and place of the recording. At Christmas time, one of the most popular carols is “Adeste Fideles,” which celebrates the confidence and good faith of the season.
Confidence has to do with inspiring trust, which you can only do by having faith in other people. Confidence enables you to walk into a room full of strangers and talk with anyone without fear. Confidence gives you poise and bearing. It makes the strangers in that room think, “Here is someone I not only can talk to, here’s someone I want to talk to.”
An ill-at-ease person makes everyone around him feel ill at ease. Feeling comfortable makes others feel at ease, and they share your confidence. It’s confidence that makes people want to believe what you say to them, to accept you as you present yourself.
There are three steps you need to take in order to build your confidence to this level. First, you must uncover your own confidence in who you are and how you were raised. Second, you must derive confidence from the formal education and training you’ve received from teachers and mentors. And third, you must draw confidence from the challenges and experiences you’ve had in all areas of your life, as well as the success you’ve had in dealing with them.
Let’s consider each of these areas one by one.
First, to grow up at all means that you have the vital equipment necessary to survive in this tough, technical, highly developed world of ours. Your parents taught you basic skills: how to walk, how to eat, what to eat, and perhaps good manners. You naturally have a certain amount of physical strength and mental capacity.
Maybe you aren’t a rocket scientist, but you know how to fix a lawn mower (something many rocket scientists cannot do). Maybe you don’t have a degree in accounting, but you can tell a joke so well that a whole room will roar with laughter. What are your strong points? They have to be there or you wouldn’t have made it this far.
Chances are you not only have a personal strength, gift, or talent, but it’s something you take so much for granted that you don’t realize what it’s worth. This strength isn’t something that’s difficult for you; rather, it’s something that comes easy. And just because it’s easy for you to cut true with a crosscut saw doesn’t mean that it’s easy for everybody. Your talent is what you take for granted. It’s likely that you don’t value it enough. That’s because talent isn’t hard work, it’s a snap!
The second step that builds your confidence is to consider all the education and training you’ve received. If you grew up in this country, you more than likely have a high-school education. Here’s another case of, “Almost everybody’s got it, and I’ve got it, so why should I derive confidence from my diploma?” Well, first of all, not everybody’s got that diploma. Second of all, this is one of the few countries in the world where most everyone can read and write and do math. In the backwoods of nowhere, that would probably qualify you to be the president, the king, or the big boss. So, boss, don’t sell that sheepskin short. You wouldn’t think of it as nothing if you didn’t have one.
Think about the teachers and mentors you’re had over the years. They must have seen something special in you or you wouldn’t be here. And what they saw was likely reflected back to you in their words, their comments, their praise. If you can pinpoint what that something is, you will see yourself through their eyes. If they didn’t see that you were capable of running that machine, taking that order, landing that account, or making that sale, then they would not have bothered to teach you in the first place. They had confidence in abilities that you in the first place. They had confidence in abilities that you may not have known you had. And they shared that confidence with you.
The third and last step that builds your confidence is to draw upon the rich bank of your own experience. You may have traveled around the world, met many people, and learned many languages. Or you may have experienced life in the same place among people you’ve always known. You know them in a way that someone constantly on the move, forever dealing with new faces and new friends, can never know another person. That’s your big bankroll, and that’s where you can learn and gain confidence.
You have made it this far in life, and the world is a better place because of you. I (Jim Rohn) am confident of that. And I have confidence in you. You have the power to make all your dreams come true.
* Source: Leading an Inspired Life by Jim Rohn