The experience of oneness is the key to expression compassion and kindness. In this state of being, you feel a natural affinity for everyone else. Loving actions don’t require willpower or effort when you recognize that everyone is you. You don’t have to remind yourself to treat your neighbor as yourself. You know that your neighbor and you are one, so behaving in accordance with this principle is effortless.
One morning while I (Steve Pavlina) was out for a walk, I saw a homeless man sifting through trash cans in an outdoor shopping center. None of the stores were open yet, so he and I were the only people in the area. Prior to my experience of oneness, I would have passed him by without making eye contact. But this time I knew in my heart that he wasn’t separate from me. He was me. I didn’t have to convince myself of this—I felt it with a deep sense of inner knowing. Without hesitation I walked up to the man, smiled at him, gave him some money, and told him I wished him well. He looked at me with gratitude and thanked me. I didn’t connect with him because I thought it would make me feel good. I did it because when I’m in the state of oneness, compassion is my natural way of connecting with the world.
My old self would have seen this man as totally separate from me. I might have felt sorry for him. I might have assumed that if I gave him money, he’d spend it on alcohol. I might have felt what I thought was compassion, but it would have only been a shadow of the real thing. On that day, however, none of those negative thoughts were present. I simply looked at that man and saw myself. I saw a fellow cell in the larger body of humanity. I saw a cell that seemed to be struggling a bit, and I wanted to offer some help and encouragement. I wasn’t really giving anything. I was just helping out a part of myself.
Oneness makes compassion unconditional. It doesn’t matter what race, religion, sexual preference, or lifestyle people have. It doesn’t matter if they behave hurtfully toward you. You are connected to everyone. No one is undeserving of love.
* Source: Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina