You’re in charge of your own destiny. While chance encounters may play an important role in your life, you’ll get the best results by consciously deciding what you want and taking action to get there. Taking command of your relationships doesn’t mean controlling or dominating other people. It simply means holding yourself in high enough esteem to know you deserve to experience the connections you desire.
Because of the inherently personal nature of this area of life, you can’t simply delegate it to someone else. If you want to be effective at connecting with others, you must strive to become your own relationship authority.
Finding a social mentor shouldn’t be too difficult. Just identify someone you know who seems to have an easy time connecting with people, someone whose interpersonal skills are more developed than yours. Tell that person that you wish to improve your social skills; and ask for pointers, advice, and perhaps an ongoing coaching relationship.
Interpersonal skills ultimately must be developed through action. It isn’t enough to search the Web or read books on how to connect with people. At some point you must put your ideas into practice. The more firsthand experience you gain, the more comfortable you’ll feel, and the more your natural self will emerge.
* Source: Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina