Kindness is invincible, but only when it’s sincere, with no hypocrisy or faking. For what can even the most malicious person do if you keep showing kindness and, if given the chance, you gently point out where they went wrong—right as they are trying to harm you?
—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.18.5.9a
What if the next time you were treated meanly, you didn’t just restrain yourself from fighting back—what if you responded with unmitigated kindness? What if you could “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you?” What kind of effect do you think that would have?
The Bible says that when you can do something nice and care to a hateful enemy, it is like “heap[ing] burning coals on his head.” The expected reaction to hatred is more hatred. When someone says something pointed or mean today, they expect you to respond in kind—not with kindness. When that doesn’t happen, they are embarrassed. It’s a shock to their system—it makes them and you better.
Most rudeness, meanness, and cruelty are a mask for deep-seated weakness. Kindness in these situations is only possible for people of great strength. You have that strength. Use it.
* Source: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman