I (Jim Rohn) did a seminar one time in St. Louis, Missouri. When I finished, a man walked up and said, “Mr. Rohn, you’ve really gotten to me. I’m going to change my philosophy. I’m going to change my attitude. I’m going to change my life. I’m going to change everything. You’ve touched me today, and you’re going to hear about me. You’ll hear my story some day.”
Well, a lot of people have said the same thing to me, but I’m always encouraged when I hear someone express the desire to grow. So I wished him luck and said I hoped to see him again someday.
Sure enough, a few months later, I was back in St. Louis to do another seminar. When I had finished, I saw this man come walking up. He said, “I’m sure you’ll remember me as the man who said that I’m going to make some change, that you touched me.” And of course, I did remember him.
Not long ago, I (Jim Rohn) did a seminar for a group of oil company executives during their convention in Honolulu. While we were sitting around the conference table, one of them asked, “Mr. Rohn, you know some important people around the world. What do you think the next ten years are going to be like?” I said, “Gentlemen, I do know the right people. I can tell you.” So, they all listened very carefully. I said, “Gentlemen, based on the people I know and from the best of my own experience, I’ve concluded that in the coming ten years, things are going to be about like they’ve always been.”
I said that to make a point, but also because it’s accurate. Things are going to be about like they’ve always been. The tide comes in, and then what? It goes out. That’s been the case for six thousand years of recorded history, and probably long before that, so it’s not likely to change.
A wise and resilient old gentleman who used to dine every month in his club downtown–sitting at a long table covered with a white linen tablecloth and sporting silver candlesticks, and served by tuxedoed waiters–loved to regale companions with the fruits of his many years of experience. After dessert and coffee were served, he would push back from the table and light an enormous imported cigar. “This cigar is the only indulgence of an old man,” he would say with a chuckle as he struck the wooden match against his thumbnail–and then he’d launch into one of his stories.
They usually began with a question, such as, “Did I ever tell you about the time when I was setting up factories for the Giant XYZ Corporation in the backwoods of Georgia and was compelled to teach them a little lesson in business and good manners?”
Let me (Jim Rohn) give you a Biblical philosophy that teaches you how to get whatever you want:”ask.” Of all the important skills to learn in life, be sure to include the skill of asking.
You may be a good worker, a sincere, hard worker, but you’ve got to do better than work hard and be sincere all your life. You will wind up broke and embarrassed. You’ve also got to be a good asker.
Le me give you some key points regarding the power of asking. First, asking starts the receiving process. In fact, the complete formula for asking is staggering. It says, “Ask and you will receive.” Asking is like pushing a button to start your mental and emotional machinery. I don’t know how it works, but I do know it does work. Asking is the beginning of receiving.
Debate is a highly refined form of communication. One of the best reasons to engage in debate is to exercise the mind. Through debate, you can not only refine your ideas, but you can also develop your mental muscle. If there is ever a time we need mental muscle, it’s now, as we move into the new millennium. Ideologies are going to be coming at us from all directions. Some of them will work in concert to help build a good world, and some are going to be in conflict. But whether ideas are in concert or in conflict, you’ve got to have the necessary mental muscle to be able to understand different ideologies, sort them out, and state your opinion clearly.
We could get into the great debate of whether there would be positive without negative. Here’s my (Jim Rohn) best answer: it doesn’t seem like it. Would there be good without evil? I don’t think so. Would there be life without death? Probably not. It seems to require both to make a scenario. Would there be health without illness? It doesn’t seem like it. Would there be light without darkness? No, I don’t think so. Would there be winning without losing? How could there be? It wouldn’t make sense. You couldn’t win if nobody lost.
Now that we’ve discussed thebasicsofcommunicationskills, let’s move on to see how you can use these skills to create more business. The key is networking, working within a group of people that you know or want to know. I (Jim Rohn) highly recommend six techniques for effective networking.
Number one: when developing relationships through networking, remember that they must be mutually beneficial. The favor you do for someone else is expected to be returned someday. For each contact you give someone else, you expect one in return. For each tip you give out, you expect one back. But remember the Law of Sowing and Reaping: what you sow will come back to you multiplied. In a good networking relationship, you will receive more than one contact and more than one tip for each one you give out. If you find that you are giving out much more than you are receiving, it may be time to look for a new network.
To really communicate well and touch a wide range of people, you must be able to relate to a wide range of experiences. They’ve got to be part of you. Being touched by a wide range of human experience is an exercise in sensitivity training.
To really be able to reach people and teach them with words and ideas and emotion, we’ve got to enter this area of sensitivity. Sensitivity involves being touched, being affected by the things that happen in our own lives as well as those of other people. This is part of the heavyweight stuff that has a strong impact on our language and communication.
Appropriate communication is a major key to success in the marketplace. When you meet a new group of people, you must watch and listen and be alert before you decide on the appropriate communication style. You might greet old friends with a slap on the back and a tasteless joke, but you certainly wouldn’t greet a multimillion-dollar business opportunity that way.
You must take a few moments to study the temperament of your audience. Listen to how they communicate with each other. Watch how they react to situations and comments. Study your audience, lest you engage in some behavior that will prove inappropriate and costly.
