You build and expand your relationships by deciding to connect with other people and allowing them to connect with you. The most basic way this happens is through direct communication. The more you communicate with your fellow human beings, the more connected you become. These links allow you to enjoy the emotional side of love as you develop feelings of closeness and caring.
Communication is only the beginning, however, since human relationships have the potential to move from connection to communication. Even with frequent interpersonal communication, there’s a risk of falling into a rut and hitting a plateau. Exchanges that are lacking in truth, love, or power eventually grow stale, but when all there elements are present, the blocks to deeper levels of connection and closeness are removed.
Let’s begin with a basic assessment of your current circumstances. What do your perceptions tell you? What’s the truth?
How do you feel about your current relationships? Are you happy or dissatisfied? Do you feel connected to the people around you, or are you disconnected and lonely? Are your relationships rooted in truth, or have they been infected by falsehood? Do the people in your life know you for who you are, or do you only reveal a shadow of your true self? Do your relationships empower or disempower you? Do you have what you want, or is something still missing?
Be honest in assessing your own role. What do you contribute to the people closest to you? What do you have to offer a partner? Do others benefit by having you in their lives, or do you take advantage of them without providing much in return?
Human relationships are a tremendous source of learning and growth. Our greatest rewards in life originate there, as do our most challenging problems. Relationships can be complicated and confusing at times, but as you’ll soon learn, the principles of truth, love, and power bring an elegant simplicity to the picture, helping us build conscious, loving connections.
We have a rich menu of intimate relationship possibilities to choose from. Some people prefer to be completely monogamous, opting for a single romantic partner until finally separated by death. Others prefer serial monogamy, experiencing a variety of partners in succession.
Intelligent health habits create long-term sustainability, enabling you to focus more time and energy on what’s truly important to you. When you put good habits on autopilot, you don’t have to fuss over your health as much. You can simply use your body as a vehicle for creative self-expression, knowing that your background habits are successfully maintaining—and even improving—your health.
While it can be very challenging to install good habits, once they’re running strong, the effort to maintain them should be minimal. In fact, you should generally expect a net gain from your best health habits, even in the short term. For example, regular aerobic exercise allows me (Steve Pavlina) to feel refreshed with significantly less sleep, so the habit more than pays for itself. Snacking on fresh fruit throughout the day is also very efficient. Peeling and eating a few bananas is virtually effortless, and the payoff is increased energy and alertness without any drowsiness. A collection of healthy habits creates an ongoing sense of positive flow.
Strive to adopt a health and fitness plan with a heart. Don’t be intimidated by challenging physical goals. A weak mind creates a weak body. Turn the pursuit of health into a lifelong adventure. If a goal doesn’t scare you a little, it probably isn’t worth pursuing. Would you like to run a marathon or triathlon? Do you think mountain climbing could be a fun experience? Does earning a black belt in martial arts appeal to you? Take a break from the monotonous treadmill and do something physical that inspires you. Live the way you think a healthy and vital human being should.
Take the initiative to prevent health problems. Use diet and exercise to stave off disease and keep your body strong and energetic. Don’t wait for a crisis to strike before taking action to improve your health. Receiving traditional medical treatment should be considered a last resort when preventive measures fail. It makes little sense for your primary health care to be provided by those who profit from your prolonged illness.
Regardless of your current health knowledge or lack thereof, you’re in command of your physical destiny. While you can certainly consult with experts, the only true health guru in your life is you. Your well-being is yours to manage. You can delegate control but never responsibility.
What passes for modern health cares is still fairly primitive, sloppy, and error-prone, especially when compared to other technical disciplines. If you go to a doctor to report a health problem, there’s a fair chance you’ll be misdiagnosed, and you may be treated based on that. Even if you get a correct diagnosis, your treatment is likely to be qualified with words like should, hopefully, and side effects. Ask your doctor why the problem occurred and how to prevent it from happening again, and you may hear: “We aren’t exactly sure.”
Turn the principle of oneness within and realize that the health of your body depends on the health of your cells, and vice versa. Your body and your cells are completely interdependent. Neither can survive and thrive without the other. Your body and mind are intimately connected as well. Buddha said, “To keep the body in good health is a duty” because good health is necessary to keep our minds strong and clear.
You’ll have to decide whether to extend the principle of oneness beyond the human race. Will you apply this principle to other living creatures as well? For me (Steve Pavlina), that extension feels right. If I’m totally honest with myself, I must admit that turning animals into food violates my sense of empathy and compassion, causing me to fall out of alignment with oneness. When I look at a puppy and a piglet, it doesn’t seem fair to me that one is treated as a beloved pet while the other becomes a meal. Consequently, I favor fresh fruit as the largest part of my diet because eating fruit doesn’t harm the plant that spawns it. The seeds can also be planted to grow even more fruit. Interestingly, I’ve found that shifting my diet in the direction of greater empathy and compassion for all creatures has yielded many health benefits as well.
You can probably guess that I (Steve Pavlina) am going to tell you that your health is your responsibility, and of course you’re right. In a world that isn’t fully committed to health, the most natural and beneficial practices are often considered extreme. Favor a salad instead of a steak and you’re labeled a health nut. Make a habit of daily exercise and you’ve become a fitness freak. Stop eating manufactured foods and you’re a fanatical purist. The truth is that if the average person wouldn’t consider your current health practices extreme, you probably aren’t very healthy. In the United States, average people die of heart disease, cancer, or stroke, all of which are heavily influenced by lifestyle choices. Average is slow suicide.
In order to be healthy today, you must exercise your self-discipline to overcome the drag of social conditioning. Summon the maturity to make intelligent choices for yourself, regardless of what throngs of sick people encourage you do.
