The Fear of Criticism
Just how man originally came by this fear, no one can state definitely, but one thing is certain–he has it in a highly developed form. Some believe that this fear made its appearance about the time that politics became a “profession.” Others believe it can be traced to the age when women first began to concern themselves with “styles” in wearing apparel.
This author, being neither a humorist nor a prophet, is inclined to attribute the basic fear of criticism to that part of man’s inherited nature which prompts him not only to take away his fellowman’s goods and wares, but to justify his action by criticism of his fellow man’s character. It is a well known fact that a thief will criticism the man from whom he steals–that politicians seek office, not by displaying their own virtues and qualifications, but by attempting to besmirch their opponents.
The fear of criticism takes on many forms, the majority of which are petty and trivial. Baldheaded men, for example, are bald for no other reason than their fear of criticism. Heads become bald because of the tight fitting bands of hats which cut off the circulation from the roots of the hair. Men wear hats, not because they actually need them, but mainly because “everyone is doing it.” The individual falls into line and does likewise, lest some other individual criticise him. Women seldom have bald heads, or even thin hair, because they wear hats which fit their heads loosely, the only purpose of the hats being adornment.
But, it must not be supposed that women are free from the fear of criticism. If any women claims to be superior to man with reference to this fear, ask her to walk down the street wearing a hat of the vintage of 1890.
The astute manufacturers of clothing have not been slow to capitalize this basic fear of criticism, with which all mankind has been cursed. Every season the styles in many articles of wearing apparel change. Who establishes the styles? Certainly not the purchaser of clothing, but the manufacturer. Why does he change the styles so often? The answer is obvious. He changes the styles so he can sell more clothes.
For the same reason the manufacturers of automobiles (with a few rare and very sensible exceptions) change styles of models every season. No man wants to drive an automobile which is not of the latest style, although the older model may actually be the better car.
We have been describing the manner in which people behave under the influence of fear of criticism as applied to the small and petty things of life. Let us now examine human behavior when this fear affects people in connection with the more important events of human relationship. Take for example practically any person who has reached the age of “mental maturity” (from 35 to 40 years of age, as a general average), and if you could read the secret thoughts of his mind, you would find a very decided disbelief in most of the fables taught by the majority of the dogmatists and theologians a few decades back.
Not often, however, will you find a person who has the courage to openly state his belief on this subject. Most people will, if pressed far enough, tell a lie rather than admit that they do not believe the stories associated with that form of religion which held people in bondage prior to the age of scientific discovery and education.
Why does the average person, even in this day of enlightenment, shy away from denying his belief in the fables which were the basis of most of the religions a few decades ago? The answer is, “because of the fear of criticism.” Men and women have been burned at the stake for daring to express disbelief in ghosts. It is no wonder we have inherited a consciousness which makes us fear criticism. The time was, and not so far in the past, when criticism carried severe punishments–it still does in some countries.
The fear of criticism robs man of his initiative, destroys his power of imagination, limits his individuality, takes away his self-reliance, and does him damage in a hundred other ways. Parents often do their children irreparable injury by criticising them. The mother of one of my (Napoleon Hill) boyhood chums used to punish him with a switch almost daily, always completing the job with the statement, “You’ll land in the penitentiary before you are twenty.” He was sent to a Reformatory at the age of seventeen.
Criticism is the one form of service, of which everyone has too much. Everyone has a stock of it which is handed out, gratis, whether called for or not. One’s nearest relatives often are the worst offenders. It should be recognized as a crime (in reality it is a crime of the worst nature), for any parent to build inferiority complexes in the mind of a child, through unnecessary criticism. Employers who understand human nature, get the best there is in men, not by criticism, but by constructive suggestion. Parents may accomplish the same results with their children. Criticism will plant fear in the human heart, or resentment, but it will not build love or affection.
* Source: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill